Good Afternoon, News: Restrictions Will Lift When Oregon is 70% Vaxxed, NRA Thwarted, and Trump’s Failed Blog

Gun Rights

NRA’s attempt to declare bankruptcy shot down by judge. (Get it?) Scott Olson / Getty News

Here’s your daily roundup of all the latest local and national news. (Like our coverage? Please consider making a recurring contribution to the Mercury to keep it comin’!)

IN LOCAL NEWS:

• Statewide COVID-19 safety restrictions will be lifted once 70 percent of Oregonians have received their first dose of the vaccine, which will probably be in mid- to late-June. Plus, Multnomah County is projected to move to “Lower Risk” level as soon as May 21.

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Employers offering minimum wage jobs in Oregon are struggling to find workers willing to fill them. Maybe it has something to do with minimum wage not being a livable wage… but what do I know?

• OMG, have you heard the news? Everywhere you look, the City of Roses has become “the city of trash and filth,” according to KOIN News’ most recent story on Portland’s reputation. Well, maybe this means trying to buy a house in Portland will become less like The Hunger Games.

• Speaking of housing, A Home For Everyone—the community board that oversees government efforts to address homelessness—is discussing how to best use $52 million from a recent homeless services measure. The Mercury has what you need to understand the latest proposals.

• Plus, summer time means summer concerts! Check out the line up of live music and films the Lot at Zindell Yards has planned.

• And if you’re looking for something to spice up your takeout rotation, look no further than Shalom Y’all. Suzette Smith takes you through some of the menu—complete with mouthwatering photos—in the latest Takeout Club.

IN NATIONAL NEWS:

• The man accused of murdering eight spa workers in the Atlanta area has been formally indicted on murder charges today. The prosecutor in the case labelled the killings as hate crimes—due to the victims being of Asian descent—and she will be seeking the death penalty.

• Israeli airstrikes continue to pound Gaza, killing 30 Palestinians (including 10 children) as rockets flattened a multistory apartment building in Gaza. Meanwhile Hamas and Islamic Jihad in Gaza have fired at least 500 rockets into Israel during the past two days. Looking for more detail behind the conflict? Check out this helpful explainer which details the history behind what’s said to be less of a “real-estate dispute” and more of an “ethnic cleansing.”

• The National Rifle Association’s corrupt attempt to declare bankruptcy and reorganize in Texas was thwarted by a federal judge, which means a New York legal pursuit to dissolve the organization can now proceed. HEE-HEE-HEE.

• Georgia, Virginia, and North Carolina have all declared a state of emergency over potential gas shortages after a cyberattack shut down the Colonial Pipeline which delivers fuel to 45 percent of the East Coast.

• In an attempt to “own the libs” after being deplatformed from social media, former President Trump started an old-timey blog to spread his many lies… but unfortunately for him? It’s a complete flop. (Don’t worry, he’s very accustomed to flopping.)

• According to a profile of worthless Republican butter-dick, Sen. Josh Hawley, he was screamed at during the January 6 domestic terrorist attack by Sen. Mitt Romney who pointed at him and yelled, “You have caused this!” (He ain’t wrong.)

• You want to look GOOD, true or false? If “true,” you’ll want to purchase a new, wicked awesome Mercury T-shirt… just in time for tee season!

• HUMP! HUMP! HUMP! If you enjoy sexy stuff (and I know you do), get your tickets NOW for HUMP’s Greatest Hits, Volume 3—THIS WEEKEND—featuring some of the best short sex flicks from 15 years of HUMP! HUMP! HUMP!


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• And now… THE WEATHER REPORT: Another mostly sunny day tomorrow with a high of 78!

• And finally… accurate.

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